not knowing where to go or who to find, he ended up writing this journal.
he has the life of an ordinary person, yet the way of thinking of a melancholia.
he just doesn't know how to find that four-letter thing.
P. S. the navigator buttons are the colored bookmarks.
Saturday, January 29, 2011
i see i've been an asshole all this time.
so this is what i deserve after all.
now i know..
now i know..
3:50 AM
is this giving up or moving on?
i shall not know.
the choice is up ahead.
but i choose not to choose.
for every time i choose, i lose.
i don't know what's right and what's wrong now.
ahh.. how i envy them.
you don't know what it's like to be me.
12:25 AM
Friday, January 28, 2011
silence is gold.should i just keep silent?
i've been talking too much after all.
8:11 PM
i should be honest.i envy them.
they have all the things i have to live without.
they are happy.
they are loved.
it's all about them.
because i don't live a life.
because there's no story to tell.. not about me.
6:14 PM
Thursday, January 27, 2011
the small talk we just had, grandma, broke my heart to pieces. you changed a lot. you can't talk properly now, but you still laughed when you heard my voice. when you knew all your words would be spoken incorrectly, you gave your best to tell me that you missed me.
my gosh..
the hint of these new tears were sharp I tried to choke them back. you know i miss you too. but i bear not said a word, i would cry right away. i'm sorry.
but i love you grandma. i really do. thanks for taking care of this useless guy. i can't ask for any more..
get well soon.
9:42 PM
Saturday, January 22, 2011
seems like i'm gonna change the looks of this blog later.
and the content as well.
i've finally found what i'm supposed to fill this blog with.
let's see if i can make it.Labels: about blog
1:20 AM
Friday, January 7, 2011
i've just done reading one of my abandoned-for-the-whole-year-novels at 3 this morning. and yeah it's awesome i must say..
i mean it indirectly taught me so many things.
there are lives from chaos. sounds weird, but well, it says some things come from chaos.
i've known that, but i just didn't take that so seriously.
but yeah, it's true.
when you know your life is about to collapse, you're actually facing the new life.
so ironic. but yeah, you get your new life by then.
and the lesson i take on my own is that the happy-ending-life i'm looking for is on page 944. and i'm still on 400 something, half way there.
so no wonder i have so many problems.
yup, this is where problems start to get worse, isn't it?
what i have to do is to keep turning the page, and bam! i'll be there.
just when i think life's being unfair to me, i just haven't reached the last page of the book.
i know the story is fiction, but hell yeah, the main character's life is far far worse than mine.
he keeps holding on, waiting for me to read until the final chapter where his life has once again been perfect.
that's what i'll be doing for sure.
just keep holding on. i know this much is true.
i hope everything would be alright.Labels: new life
3:15 AM
Saturday, January 29, 2011
i see i've been an asshole all this time.
so this is what i deserve after all.
now i know..
now i know..
3:50 AM
is this giving up or moving on?
i shall not know.
the choice is up ahead.
but i choose not to choose.
for every time i choose, i lose.
i don't know what's right and what's wrong now.
ahh.. how i envy them.
you don't know what it's like to be me.
12:25 AM
Friday, January 28, 2011
silence is gold.should i just keep silent?
i've been talking too much after all.
8:11 PM
i should be honest.i envy them.
they have all the things i have to live without.
they are happy.
they are loved.
it's all about them.
because i don't live a life.
because there's no story to tell.. not about me.
6:14 PM
Thursday, January 27, 2011
the small talk we just had, grandma, broke my heart to pieces. you changed a lot. you can't talk properly now, but you still laughed when you heard my voice. when you knew all your words would be spoken incorrectly, you gave your best to tell me that you missed me.
my gosh..
the hint of these new tears were sharp I tried to choke them back. you know i miss you too. but i bear not said a word, i would cry right away. i'm sorry.
but i love you grandma. i really do. thanks for taking care of this useless guy. i can't ask for any more..
get well soon.
9:42 PM
Saturday, January 22, 2011
seems like i'm gonna change the looks of this blog later.
and the content as well.
i've finally found what i'm supposed to fill this blog with.
let's see if i can make it.Labels: about blog
1:20 AM
Friday, January 7, 2011
i've just done reading one of my abandoned-for-the-whole-year-novels at 3 this morning. and yeah it's awesome i must say..
i mean it indirectly taught me so many things.
there are lives from chaos. sounds weird, but well, it says some things come from chaos.
i've known that, but i just didn't take that so seriously.
but yeah, it's true.
when you know your life is about to collapse, you're actually facing the new life.
so ironic. but yeah, you get your new life by then.
and the lesson i take on my own is that the happy-ending-life i'm looking for is on page 944. and i'm still on 400 something, half way there.
so no wonder i have so many problems.
yup, this is where problems start to get worse, isn't it?
what i have to do is to keep turning the page, and bam! i'll be there.
just when i think life's being unfair to me, i just haven't reached the last page of the book.
i know the story is fiction, but hell yeah, the main character's life is far far worse than mine.
he keeps holding on, waiting for me to read until the final chapter where his life has once again been perfect.
that's what i'll be doing for sure.
just keep holding on. i know this much is true.
i hope everything would be alright.Labels: new life
3:15 AM
