LIFE JOURNAL
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not knowing where to go or who to find, he ended up writing this journal.
he has the life of an ordinary person, yet the way of thinking of a melancholia.
he just doesn't know how to find that four-letter thing.
P. S. the navigator buttons are the colored bookmarks.
Monday, February 28, 2011
i'm trying. there are always opportunities. but every time it comes; every time we're alone, i'm choked. it's like devil always shuts my mouth. those words are always left unsaid.
i've never been this nervous.. oh God.. i don't know why.
i just feel weird when i'm with you, you know, just you and me. ahh.. we've ever been through this. but that is totally a different matter.
what's the big deal, i ask myself. i don't know why. actually, it's been a while since i last did this, head - straight. i wonder if i was able to do that again. urgh..
and.. what we're supposed to do after that? look at each other like idiots? continue what we've left? cry like a crybaby? (oh this one actually disgusts me) i don't think i'm ready with those and other stupid possibilities. there will be silence, yeah! there will be silence i bet.
ahh.. i think i'm off the limit. i can't think clearly enough right now. my task is way too much to handle. i just need some sleep for now.
P. S. i'm trying. i really am.
5:30 AM
Saturday, February 26, 2011
i really don't know when to start. i don't know how to start. i guess i've understood how he's feeling.
11:52 PM
Thursday, February 24, 2011
guess i can't be free from embarrassment, eh?
so are we now that "a little more"? or should i make the move before that?
i know i can't be sweet. this is actually a stupid answer to ask. but..
4:16 AM
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
right now, i'm abandoning my tasks, seeing how funny this has become. i can't stop smiling. don't you think this is just like our friends? it's just that we're doing this so straightforwardly while they did it poetically. this is embarrassing, yes. well, can't help at all. :P
i see. and i'm happy to know. this comforts me. but this imperfect me never give enough. i doubt this will be satisfying. sorry..
and..i'm not even half of a romantic one; i don't know how to try, i don't know when to try. this is irritating actually. but when this ends.. maybe.. a little more.
10:32 PM
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
i pay all my extra attention in every single words written there. it both got me laughing and wondering. haha how i hope it's all about me. err.. is it? because you know, it's such an embarrassment either way; to be so confident when it's not me, and of course to be put in such embarrassing state if it's really me!
don't you think it's a little bit unusual? i love how we are though. or maybe.. a little more?
7:37 PM
Saturday, February 19, 2011
is it possible?
is it possible?
is it possible?
is it possible?
is it possible?
is it possible?
is it possible?
i wonder..
7:18 PM
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
it's been a while since you was last treated that sweet, eh garry?
although we're friends, i never expected this much. i'm happy, yes. happy that God can't even tell.
it did rain like there's no tomorrow. but it seems that the rainbow has started to show.
but still, is this right? i.. don't know.
12:25 AM
just when i thought my valentine's day would be blue all day, you came at the very last moment, right before day changed its face. that's a very sweet gift you gave me, sweeter than the chocolate i gave you indeed. i guess my valentine's day wasn't that bad after all. thank you. :)
but who knows if this is the right thing to do?
12:05 AM
Thursday, February 10, 2011
what they need is a winner, not a loser. that's why they don't need me. not at all.
4:02 PM
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
OMG you absolutely need to hear this song on your headphones! Yui's cute voice to your left ear and Mio's beautiful voice to your right ear. how kawaii! K-ON! absolutely rocks!
2:09 AM
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
I'm starting to fashion an idea in my head Where I would impress you, Where every single word I said Would come out insightful or brave, or smooth, or charming And you'd want to call me.. And I Would be there every time You need me; I'd be there every time..
But for now, I'll look So longingly.. Waiting
For you to want me For you to need me For you to notice me
I'm starting to fashion an idea in my head Where I would impress you, Where every single word I said Would come out insightful or brave, or smooth, or charming And you'd want to call me..
And I Would be there every time You need me; I'd be there every time..
But for now, I'll look So longingly Waiting
For you to want me For you to need me For you to notice me...
10:15 PM
problems are coming like there's no tomorrow. sigh.. just why the hell is this happening?!
4:33 PM
Saturday, February 5, 2011
new update : new photos on gallery *yellow bookmark*
2:48 PM
my mind is going wild once again. what i'm thinking.. has no end. it's always between hoping and giving up.
the demon always whispers 'you still live this pathetic life, eh? can't you get tired?' well i'm tired. so what? it's not like i have a choice.
this is what i was born to be. to suffer. yeah.. that's why i exist. to suffer. to suffer all the possible pain. and no one can surely change that. no one.
1:27 AM
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
tasks dominate my life again.. time to fight back!
7:54 PM
in one night, secrets were told. we were the same. we didn't know what this was. we felt weird. we talked about it, but we didn't understand. we tried to let it flow, what it's stuck right at where it's left. we knew that this wasn't right. it seemed impossible, but it's not like it's not possible. yeah, we shared. we believed.
5:35 PM
Monday, February 28, 2011
i'm trying. there are always opportunities. but every time it comes; every time we're alone, i'm choked. it's like devil always shuts my mouth. those words are always left unsaid.
i've never been this nervous.. oh God.. i don't know why.
i just feel weird when i'm with you, you know, just you and me. ahh.. we've ever been through this. but that is totally a different matter.
what's the big deal, i ask myself. i don't know why. actually, it's been a while since i last did this, head - straight. i wonder if i was able to do that again. urgh..
and.. what we're supposed to do after that? look at each other like idiots? continue what we've left? cry like a crybaby? (oh this one actually disgusts me) i don't think i'm ready with those and other stupid possibilities. there will be silence, yeah! there will be silence i bet.
ahh.. i think i'm off the limit. i can't think clearly enough right now. my task is way too much to handle. i just need some sleep for now.
P. S. i'm trying. i really am.
5:30 AM
Saturday, February 26, 2011
i really don't know when to start. i don't know how to start. i guess i've understood how he's feeling.
11:52 PM
Thursday, February 24, 2011
guess i can't be free from embarrassment, eh?
so are we now that "a little more"? or should i make the move before that?
i know i can't be sweet. this is actually a stupid answer to ask. but..
4:16 AM
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
right now, i'm abandoning my tasks, seeing how funny this has become. i can't stop smiling. don't you think this is just like our friends? it's just that we're doing this so straightforwardly while they did it poetically. this is embarrassing, yes. well, can't help at all. :P
i see. and i'm happy to know. this comforts me. but this imperfect me never give enough. i doubt this will be satisfying. sorry..
and..i'm not even half of a romantic one; i don't know how to try, i don't know when to try. this is irritating actually. but when this ends.. maybe.. a little more.
10:32 PM
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
i pay all my extra attention in every single words written there. it both got me laughing and wondering. haha how i hope it's all about me. err.. is it? because you know, it's such an embarrassment either way; to be so confident when it's not me, and of course to be put in such embarrassing state if it's really me!
don't you think it's a little bit unusual? i love how we are though. or maybe.. a little more?
7:37 PM
Saturday, February 19, 2011
is it possible?
is it possible?
is it possible?
is it possible?
is it possible?
is it possible?
is it possible?
i wonder..
7:18 PM
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
it's been a while since you was last treated that sweet, eh garry?
although we're friends, i never expected this much. i'm happy, yes. happy that God can't even tell.
it did rain like there's no tomorrow. but it seems that the rainbow has started to show.
but still, is this right? i.. don't know.
12:25 AM
just when i thought my valentine's day would be blue all day, you came at the very last moment, right before day changed its face. that's a very sweet gift you gave me, sweeter than the chocolate i gave you indeed. i guess my valentine's day wasn't that bad after all. thank you. :)
but who knows if this is the right thing to do?
12:05 AM
Thursday, February 10, 2011
what they need is a winner, not a loser. that's why they don't need me. not at all.
4:02 PM
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
OMG you absolutely need to hear this song on your headphones! Yui's cute voice to your left ear and Mio's beautiful voice to your right ear. how kawaii! K-ON! absolutely rocks!
2:09 AM
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
I'm starting to fashion an idea in my head Where I would impress you, Where every single word I said Would come out insightful or brave, or smooth, or charming And you'd want to call me.. And I Would be there every time You need me; I'd be there every time..
But for now, I'll look So longingly.. Waiting
For you to want me For you to need me For you to notice me
I'm starting to fashion an idea in my head Where I would impress you, Where every single word I said Would come out insightful or brave, or smooth, or charming And you'd want to call me..
And I Would be there every time You need me; I'd be there every time..
But for now, I'll look So longingly Waiting
For you to want me For you to need me For you to notice me...
10:15 PM
problems are coming like there's no tomorrow. sigh.. just why the hell is this happening?!
4:33 PM
Saturday, February 5, 2011
new update : new photos on gallery *yellow bookmark*
2:48 PM
my mind is going wild once again. what i'm thinking.. has no end. it's always between hoping and giving up.
the demon always whispers 'you still live this pathetic life, eh? can't you get tired?' well i'm tired. so what? it's not like i have a choice.
this is what i was born to be. to suffer. yeah.. that's why i exist. to suffer. to suffer all the possible pain. and no one can surely change that. no one.
1:27 AM
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
tasks dominate my life again.. time to fight back!
7:54 PM
in one night, secrets were told. we were the same. we didn't know what this was. we felt weird. we talked about it, but we didn't understand. we tried to let it flow, what it's stuck right at where it's left. we knew that this wasn't right. it seemed impossible, but it's not like it's not possible. yeah, we shared. we believed.
