LIFE JOURNAL

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

:( :(

Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
But that's alright because I like the way it hurts
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry
But that's alright because I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

I can't tell you what it really is
I can only tell you what it feels like
And right now there's a steel knife
In my windpipe
I can't breathe
But I still fight
While I can fight
As long as the wrong feels right
It's like I'm in flight
High of a love
Drunk from the hate
It's like I'm huffin' paint
And I love it the more that I suffer
I sufficate
And right before I'm about to drown
She resuscitates me
She fucking hates me
And I love it
Wait
Where you going
I'm leaving you
No you ain't
Come back
We're running right back
Here we go again
It's so insane
Cause when it's going good
It's going great
I'm Superman
With the wind at his back
She's Lois Lane
But when it's bad
It's awful
I feel so ashamed
I snap
Who's that dude
I don't even know his name
I laid hands on her
I'll never stoop so low again
I guess I don't know my own strength

Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
But that's alright because I like the way it hurts
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry
But that's alright because I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie, I love the way you lie

You ever love somebody so much
You can barely breathe
When you're with them
You meet
And neither one of you
Even know what hit 'em
Got that warm fuzzy feeling
Yeah them chills
Used to get 'em
Now you're getting fucking sick
Of looking at 'em
You swore you've never hit 'em
Never do nothing to hurt 'em
Now you're in each other's face
Spewing venom
In Your words
When you spit 'em
You push
Pull each other's hair
Scratch, claw, bit 'em
Throw 'em down
Pin 'em
So lost in the moments
When you're in 'em
It's the rage that took over
It controls you both
So they say it's best
To go your separate ways
Guess that they don't know ya
Cause today
That was yesterday
Yesterday is over
It's a different day
Sound like broken records
Playin' over
But you promised her
Next time you'll show restraint
You don't get another chance
Life is no Nintendo game
But you lied again
Now you get to watch her leave
Out the window
Guess that's why they call it window pane

Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
But that's alright because I like the way it hurts
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry
But that's alright because I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie, I love the way you lie

Now I know we said things
Did things
That we didn't mean
And we fall back
Into the same patterns
Same routine
But your temper's just as bad
As mine is
You're the same as me
But when it comes to love
You're just as blinded
Baby please come back
It wasn't you
Baby it was me
Maybe our relationship
Isn't as crazy as it seems
Maybe that's what happens
When a tornado meets a volcano
All I know is
I love you too much
To walk away though
Come inside
Pick up your bags off the sidewalk
Don't you hear sincerity
In my voice when I talk
Told you this is my fault
Look me in the eyeball
Next time I'm pissed
I'll aim my fist
At the dry wall
Next time
There will be no next time
I apologize
Even though I know it's lies
I'm tired of the games
I just want her back
I know I'm a liar
If she ever tries to fuckin' leave again
I'ma tie her to the bed
And set this house on fire

Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
But that's alright because I like the way it hurts
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry
But that's alright because I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie, I love the way you lie

Labels: video

12:46 AM

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

hello mr. worry-head, do you know that you have over-worried about something too much?

yes, i'm talking to myself.

and yes, i do worry too much.

you see, she and i haven't had a proper contact recently because both of us have been so busy.

i got tons of works to be done from college, and she's having her school exam.

and yes i tell you, i DO worry.

unreasonable worries actually, because just like i told you, i got tons of works to be done from college, and she's having her school exam.

do i say it right?

i got tons of works to be done from college, and she's having her school exam.

and hell yeah!

I've known the reason why we haven't had a proper contact, it's so obvious, isn't it?

but i just can't stop worrying, i don't know why.

maybe it's just because i feel so lonely. :(

i always stop worrying just when i got her message. it's like i'm relieved just by having news from her.

we also haven't had any calls. ohh just how much i miss her voice, her jokes (well, she doesn't share jokes actually, but i always find everything she says funny. :D), her laughter (this is the best), her stories, and her being so kind to me.

now that i miss you more and more. :(

guess i'm off.

see you on Christmas.

Labels: about her

10:38 PM

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

hey!

think that i blogged much recently. :D

since when, eh?

ahh. since i started falling for her i guess. *grin*

she's just so perfect that i can't stop admiring her. *big smile*

but eh, i got some story to tell you.

*curhat*

lol.

you know, since i published my relationship with her on facebook, it has been so many GUYS that added me as friends, more than 10 perhaps, just to know who the lucky guy was. :D

and yes, i know she's so popular and that's why i'm so grateful that she chose me.

i don't know why, but actually i always think that i'm not worth that much.

......

and hey, about my univ, i have my first day today.

and it's only 2 hours class and we're all done. *big grin*

but hell yeah, tomorrow is hell.

8 hours non-stop in the studio to draw!

just what the hell are we going to draw?!

this is just insane!

and i must arrive there at 6.30 without being late, even a minute!

just thinking that makes head hurt. :S

by the way this is my "toy" in architecture for these 4 years or more.

it is just so damn expensive!

i must take a really good care of it. :D

i'm off..

Labels: about her, university

7:08 PM

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

oh this is just great!

i woke up late this morning and i missed today's ospek, which means i missed all the information for tomorrow class.

and who knows how my mentors will act because of this?

today is the independent day and somehow important for the univ that all of the new students join the ceremony.

and here i am, at home, writing my blog.

when i know i'm here, I've known that ALL is not possible anymore.

ohh just what is the consequence of this?!

can anyone tell me what to do?

well, i told my mentor via sms that i was sick and i was unable to come and join.

and no, that's not a lie.

actually i'd woken up at 5 but then i felt my head spinning. it hurt a lot. i was unable to move even a step and i accidentally slept for another 2 hours. i thought maybe i could regain my consciousness if i slept for about 15 minutes, but it seemed that even 2 hours weren't enough.

my head still hurts a bit and my sight is kinda blur.

(oh just how long I've been wondering why i can still write my blog at a moment like this)

i really hope this didn't bring bad things to me.

it's more than enough..

i'm so damn done!

Labels: university

8:09 AM

Thursday, August 12, 2010

hey! i was going to write today's story about how sad i was until she text me.

my mood was then pumped up, and so that's it. lol..

nah, kidding you.

umm. remember about me telling you about how fun the univ would be?

well, it's a no no.

no fun at all.

not my senior.. it's the ospek thingy!

i was told that the ospek would be so much fun but in reality, it was like, urghh!

it's no one's fault actually, i just got the wrong teammates.

the ospek itself could be fun, but my teammates and i just couldn't make it as it should be.

then well..

it's just like another formal event, after all.

ah well. i don't really care.

and by the way, hey!

what's wrong with you?

you seem troubled, yet you couldn't tell me.

you know, it breaks my heart.. to see you in trouble, but can't help at all.

i really wish i could read your mind.

this way, i don't need to worry anymore.

but i guess you don't want your mind to be read. lol.

i love you. please be good, okay?

God bless us all.

see you on Christmas.

Labels: about her, university

9:23 PM

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

tomorrow is the day..

ospek ospek ospek!!

oh God help me..

Labels: university

10:39 PM

at last, there is an internet access for my notebook.

at last, I can blog again!

yeay!

well, actually it's possible to blog from my mobile phone, but why bother?

blogging from notebook is far more simple. :D

and hey guys, good news and bad news, choose..

bad news?

I'm going to start my univ tomorrow and yes, it sucks.

*thinking*

maybe i'll say that if i haven't met my seniors couples of days before.

but i'm so glad that i met them and we're all having fun together.

now entering the univ seems fun!

haha..

yahh, no bad news actually. :P

the good news?

the good news is that i don't have any bad news and yes, i know what i'm saying sucks.

*big smile*

it's been so long since I'm so excited in writing blog so please excuse me. :D

so why am i so excited?

here is the other good news.

*whisper*

got that?

hehe..

well actually i'm waiting for christmas so excitedly because i promised someone that i'm going to go back to medan and be her santa. :D

and i really can't wait to see her and give her my best hug (haha) because i really really miss her.

and you know, she is the sweetest person i've ever met!

and i'm really happy that i'm hers now.

*smile*

she gives me anything more than i ever expect and that is just so damn great.

guess i can't stop thanking you.

thanks.. :))

Labels: about her, Christmas, new life

1:03 PM

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

:( :(

Labels: video

12:46 AM

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

hello mr. worry-head, do you know that you have over-worried about something too much?

yes, i'm talking to myself.

and yes, i do worry too much.

you see, she and i haven't had a proper contact recently because both of us have been so busy.

i got tons of works to be done from college, and she's having her school exam.

and yes i tell you, i DO worry.

unreasonable worries actually, because just like i told you, i got tons of works to be done from college, and she's having her school exam.

do i say it right?

i got tons of works to be done from college, and she's having her school exam.

and hell yeah!

I've known the reason why we haven't had a proper contact, it's so obvious, isn't it?

but i just can't stop worrying, i don't know why.

maybe it's just because i feel so lonely. :(

i always stop worrying just when i got her message. it's like i'm relieved just by having news from her.

now that i miss you more and more. :(

guess i'm off.

see you on Christmas.

Labels: about her

10:38 PM

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

hey!

think that i blogged much recently. :D

since when, eh?

ahh. since i started falling for her i guess. *grin*

she's just so perfect that i can't stop admiring her. *big smile*

but eh, i got some story to tell you.

*curhat*

lol.

you know, since i published my relationship with her on facebook, it has been so many GUYS that added me as friends, more than 10 perhaps, just to know who the lucky guy was. :D

and yes, i know she's so popular and that's why i'm so grateful that she chose me.

i don't know why, but actually i always think that i'm not worth that much.

......

and hey, about my univ, i have my first day today.

and it's only 2 hours class and we're all done. *big grin*

but hell yeah, tomorrow is hell.

8 hours non-stop in the studio to draw!

just what the hell are we going to draw?!

this is just insane!

and i must arrive there at 6.30 without being late, even a minute!

just thinking that makes head hurt. :S

by the way this is my "toy" in architecture for these 4 years or more.

it is just so damn expensive!

i must take a really good care of it. :D

i'm off..

Labels: about her, university

7:08 PM

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

oh this is just great!

i woke up late this morning and i missed today's ospek, which means i missed all the information for tomorrow class.

and who knows how my mentors will act because of this?

today is the independent day and somehow important for the univ that all of the new students join the ceremony.

and here i am, at home, writing my blog.

when i know i'm here, I've known that ALL is not possible anymore.

ohh just what is the consequence of this?!

can anyone tell me what to do?

well, i told my mentor via sms that i was sick and i was unable to come and join.

and no, that's not a lie.

my head still hurts a bit and my sight is kinda blur.

(oh just how long I've been wondering why i can still write my blog at a moment like this)

i really hope this didn't bring bad things to me.

it's more than enough..

i'm so damn done!

Labels: university

8:09 AM

Thursday, August 12, 2010

hey! i was going to write today's story about how sad i was until she text me.

my mood was then pumped up, and so that's it. lol..

nah, kidding you.

umm. remember about me telling you about how fun the univ would be?

well, it's a no no.

no fun at all.

not my senior.. it's the ospek thingy!

i was told that the ospek would be so much fun but in reality, it was like, urghh!

it's no one's fault actually, i just got the wrong teammates.

the ospek itself could be fun, but my teammates and i just couldn't make it as it should be.

then well..

it's just like another formal event, after all.

ah well. i don't really care.

and by the way, hey!

what's wrong with you?

you seem troubled, yet you couldn't tell me.

you know, it breaks my heart.. to see you in trouble, but can't help at all.

i really wish i could read your mind.

this way, i don't need to worry anymore.

but i guess you don't want your mind to be read. lol.

i love you. please be good, okay?

God bless us all.

see you on Christmas.

Labels: about her, university

9:23 PM

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

tomorrow is the day..

ospek ospek ospek!!

oh God help me..

Labels: university

10:39 PM

at last, there is an internet access for my notebook.

at last, I can blog again!

yeay!

well, actually it's possible to blog from my mobile phone, but why bother?

blogging from notebook is far more simple. :D

and hey guys, good news and bad news, choose..

bad news?

I'm going to start my univ tomorrow and yes, it sucks.

*thinking*

maybe i'll say that if i haven't met my seniors couples of days before.

but i'm so glad that i met them and we're all having fun together.

now entering the univ seems fun!

haha..

yahh, no bad news actually. :P

the good news?

the good news is that i don't have any bad news and yes, i know what i'm saying sucks.

*big smile*

it's been so long since I'm so excited in writing blog so please excuse me. :D

so why am i so excited?

here is the other good news.

*whisper*

got that?

hehe..

well actually i'm waiting for christmas so excitedly because i promised someone that i'm going to go back to medan and be her santa. :D

and i really can't wait to see her and give her my best hug (haha) because i really really miss her.

and you know, she is the sweetest person i've ever met!

and i'm really happy that i'm hers now.

*smile*

she gives me anything more than i ever expect and that is just so damn great.

guess i can't stop thanking you.

thanks.. :))

Labels: about her, Christmas, new life

1:03 PM